Day 14 – Ca Plane Pour Moi

Again, nothing much to report.

Compared to all the other blogs that there are about bimaxillary osteotomies, this blog is pretty boring. I've been reading these blogs for a long time to prepare me for the surgery. Two weeks in, most authors are still in considerable distress with exhaustion, poor range of motion, swelling, numbness, inability to eat solids, and struggling with horrendous elastics.

Let's go through each of these:

Exhaustion

Put simply, there is none. Granted, I haven't done much in the way of physical exertion, but I am back working full-time (albeit from the mother's place), and studying. I'm seeing the orthodontist again tomorrow. No doubt she will be horrified – I had a phonecall from her secretary to say that she has managed to wrangle another sick note for me. Her estimate for how long I'd need off sick was three months. The surgeon said 4-6 weeks. The doctor at work said I could come back whenever I was felt I was ready with appropriate adjustments, but was sceptical that I would be able to talk or be free from agony within the two-week optimistic target I'd set myself.

Looks like they were wrong.

Range of motion

It's not fully there yet, but the width I am able to open my mouth is growing exponentially by the day¹. I can yawn and brush my teeth reasonably well. I can't yet see my tongue when I stick it out – this will probably be the next big milestone.

Swelling

There's still a bit of puffiness around my cheekbones and my top lip is a bit fat. But I'm not a hamster.

Numbness

The vast majority of sensation has fully returned. I've got slight pins and needles in my chin and the corners of my mouth tingle a bit. There are two tiny patches of total numbness somewhere in the corners of my mouth, but these are shrinking (hopefully not exponentially)². They are so small that I struggle to find them. My method of testing sensation is to rub a pen lid around my face. When I find the areas of total numbness, I can feel the lid on the skin just next to the patches.

That's how small they are.

Diet

Sadly, I am not yet eating steak. But for all intents and purposes, I am on a solid diet.

Elastics 

I have mastered the parallelogram. Compared to some of the patterns I've seen, mine is pretty easy. And I can even fit the elastics without looking. It no longer takes me half an hour to put them on, so that means I have time for a non-liquid lunch.

So it's going pretty well for me.

As if this song is nearly 40 years old.

It's going so well, I'm going back to London tomorrow. Just don't tell the orthodontist...

Today's menu

Breakfast

Chopped pear and banana.

Dinner

Salmon sandwiches! I've been craving these.

Tea

Penne and potato bolognese.

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1. It's an overused word, but the rate of improvement is actually exponential to a first approximation. Trust me, I'm a mathematician.

2. If the numb patches were shrinking exponentially, they would never disappear completely. So I'll settle for linear decay for these. Or straight-line rather than declining balance depreciation. Can you tell I'm a trainee accountant?