Day 509 –Last chance saloon

It's been 10 days since I had the hole in my gum restitched.

Unfortunately I have no gory photos as I am not allowed to stretch my mouth to even look at the wound.

It was pretty painful for the first couple of days: The stitches were so tight that laughing was agony. And there's a lot of laughter in Filipino offices. There was also a bit of swelling. Obviously, it was nowhere near as bad as in Days 2-7, but that area was swollen enough for me to add an ice-filled water bottle as a cold compress to my already-ridiculous regimens.

The situation was not helped by the fact that I have spent most the week dying of manflu. Anyone who knows me IRL will know that my sneezes are epic, so that causes some extra unwanted pain.

I went back to the MaxFax today. It's a friend's leaving do tonight, which may involve karaoke, so I was hoping to be given the all-clear to eat, drink, sing and rap.

The good news is that the wound is healing, and that I can go back to the chlorhexidine mouthwash instead of the potentially-staining iodine.

The bad news is that if it hasn't healed by the time I go back to the MaxFax in 10 days' time, the plate will have to be removed.

This morning's menu:

Omelette. As I breakfasted immediately after I got home from nightshift, there was still some fruit available.

Day 499 – Screw loose

It's been over a year since I abruptly stopped posting due to having to nothing interesting write about. Since then I've had the braces off and moved to Manila. The rest of the recovery sent well and was pretty uneventful.

Until last month. My dentist noticed a cut in my gum and I had probably the scariest medical conversation since I had my fingers chopped up.

Dentist: *hands me mirror* "What is that cut?"

     Me: "Please tell me that is not bone."

     Dentist: "It might be food. Nurse, please get me the Bone-Scraper."

     Me: "The BONE-SCRAPER?!"

     Dentist: "Don't sorry, that's just the name. *tapping and scraping noises* Yes, it is bone."

Then she gave me the mirror and I looked at my jawbone. Apparently, one of the titanium screws had poked itself through the gum. Not good.

Anyway, she stitched the gum back together so I got referred to a MaxFax surgeon.

She banned me from drinking alcohol, talking, and eating chewy or crunchy foods, so that the gum has the best chance to heal. Being banned from the first hasn't been too bad as I have been studying for an exam. The second has proved impossible, so I've offered myself the compromise of not singing (loudly). No no karaoke or Liam Gallagher for me. Chewy foods include:

• Meat
• Vegetables
• Most fruit
• Fish
• Basically anything that is neither liquid nor small enough to be swallowed whole.

So I am living on a diet that predominantly consists of omelettes and soft tacos.

According the the MaxFax, the titanium plates can cause irritation and cause tissue to break down.

I've seen her three times now. The first time, she gave me some antiseptic, alcohol-free mouthwash. That worked to an extent, but I maxed-out the treatment period of that.

The next step was to use iodine mouthwash, and a saline water jet. I say "waterjet" but what I really mean is that I have been using squirting saltwater into the hole after I've eaten. Needless to say, I've been getting strange looks in the restroom at work...

When I went today, she said it is still healing. It's healed enough to have another attempt at stitching it. I am now banned from using the waterjet for a week, or moving my mouth. Let's see how that goes.

I took this photo¹ just before I got stitched. I can't take one of the actual stitches as that will involve moving my month...

I'm going back in a week. Depending on how it's healing, we might wait a bit longer. Or the plate will have to come out in a quick procedure.

It's so typical of me that I recovered from the major surgery so fast, yet the saga of the exposed bone has so so latest longer than the initial run of this Jaw-Breaking Blog.

Today's menu, like pretty much every day's menu for the last six weeks, has featured a Northern Ireland-shaped omelette for breakfast.

---

1. Please do not judge the state of that tooth. It needs crowining, but it's also the one with the shortened root and will thus likely fall out soon

Day 39 – Ready For The Weekend

I worked from home today. I think the week and journey had taken its toll.

Working from home sounds like a doss. But it's not. It makes it easy to work silly hours. Not what you want on a Friday night.

Today's menu:

Bananas, soup, sandwiches and chocolate throughout the day.

Day 38 – Colourblind

Today was an orthodontic day.


I was hoping that this would be the last photo of me with elastics.

Thankfully,enough range of motion had returned for the orthodontist to be able to get in and replace the bracket that had been knocked off during surgery. It transpired that there were actually two, and they hadn't come off completely. One ended up pinging across the clinic, nearly taking out the nurse.

As I was having the blue light shone on my teeth to set the glue, it dawned on my that after eight years and countless bracket fittings and replacements, this would probably be the last time I ever have that done.

What's more, I was able to go back to coloured ties on the bottom brackets. I had had metal ties for the last few months, so it was good to have the aqua blue ones back.

It wasn't fantastic news on the elastic front. I can't say goodbye to them completely, but I've been able now to swap the blue elastics for the much-weaker green elastics.

I didn't think it would feel so beautiful, but it does.

The next appointment is in two weeks and it will be a joint clinic with maxfax. Exciting. And the braces could be off in six to eight weeks! Or 12 weeks, to be on the safe side. But it should be "before summer", whenever summer actually is in Britain.

In other news, my train journey back to London was epic.

Today's menu;

Big breakfast (sausage, egg, mushroom, beans, toast) for breakfast.

Cottage pie for tea.

Day 37 – Could It Be Magic?

I've realised what the main reason for my difficulties in getting up of the mornings.

I have to sleep with the pillows propped up, so that I am almost sitting upright. Obviously, this isn't ideal, so I guess the quality of my sleep is pretty poor at the moment. The reason why I have to prop myself up is to help the swelling drain away to my neck. On the few nights where I have slept reasonably flat, I've woken up with the swelling exacerbated – especially around my cheekbones and eyes. Tiredness and a pronounced double-chin seem to be a price worth paying.

I've got an orthodontist appointment tomorrow, so I've had to go back to Walsall. Fortunately, the hospital know I have to travel a long way and they understand how ridiculous it is that the NHS cannot cope with someone moving away, so they slot me in at the end of the clinic.

Hopefully, I'll be able to open my mouth wide enough for the braces to be adjusted. Then I should be able to get rid of these wretched elastics.

The mother was pleased to see me when I got in. She's almost forgotten that just over one month ago, I was bed-ridden with blood pouring out of my mouth, unable to eat, and with a head almost as broad as my shoulders. It's almost magic. Speaking of magic, I got a sticker from a magician today. It's a long story...

Today's menu:

Banana for breakfast.

Pesto chicken and chips for lunch.

Big Breakfast sandwich and Wotsits for tea.

Turkey sandwich for supper.

Day 36 – Turning Japanese

I had to go to another office today. Which meant I had to go to the river again.

I had lunch with the guys from that office. We went to Wagamama's, so it was my third Japanese post-surgery. I've probably chewed more Japanese meals than I have roast dinners. Which is some achievement.

Astonishingly, not everyone in the other office reads this blog! People were aware that I had had my jaw broken, but didn't know why. They were a bit shocked to discover that I wanted the breakages to happen. It's a stark contrast with the guy who also had titanium plates fitted the same day as me, but for an accident.

Today's menu:

Banana for breakfast.

Wagamama Number 22 for lunch.

Chicken sandwich for tea.

Day 35 – I Keep Going To The River

I had to pick up my nasal spray today.

I love this view from the bridge.

My hair is beyond a joke now, but I'm still not sure what to do with it that would suit my new jawline. The old parting towards the right is like a ghost of my old face¹.

Strangely, I didn't sneeze when I took the nasal spray. I appear to have lost the ability to sneeze.

Today's menu:

Banana for breakfast.

Something Chinese for lunch.

Chicken sandwich for tea.

---

1. I know, I cringed when I wrote it.